12. Methods Employed In Making A Psychic Attack-f

Later on an inspiration (?) came to me and I said, ‘Is your Order the Order of the Christ?’ He answered, ‘It is.’ I told him of my experience (related above) and accepted initiation; but I had the inner conviction that all was not right. “I felt no inner response to several incidents during the initiation, and I began to call mentally and earnestly upon the Christ, and kept on doing so until the end of the ceremony. (I learned afterwards that he had told one of his disciples that I had accepted initiation but not the Master.) “It would take too long to relate other less important details so I go on to our second interview during which he asked me several times to leave the town where I was and to join him in active work. This time I heard the inner voice clearly; it said, ‘No.’ Suddenly he said, ‘Sit in front of me; I will heal you.’ (I was in very bad health at the time.) He fixed his eyes on mine with a strong commanding gaze. Mentally I called on the Christ and I felt form all round me a sort of shell. ‘There,’ he said, ‘I have healed you.’ The inner voice said, ‘No.’ “Well, he went away and I had a ‘bad time,’ for I had the feeling that all was not right, though I had no suspicion of evil. (Nor have I now.) “I wrote an account of this interview to a friend, and a letter from her crossed mine. She told me that about the time of my interview with Z., of which she was unaware, she was told to join our spiritual teacher in helping me. She withdrew from the Outer Planes, and then she realised that strong hypnotic forces were playing upon me in waves. Again and again she had to use all her spiritual power to help me withstand them, but finally ‘we stood on a rock, bathed in light and free.’ My letter gave her the key to it; but she replied, ‘Take care, Z. will try again. He realised that he was baffled; he will try on the Inner Planes next time.’ “Now comes the great experience. A few weeks later, at night, I had a very vivid vision, it seemed; but it was a real experience. I was in the middle of a group of seven or eight persons of whom I saw two clearly. On my left was a woman entirely veiled in black, but she made a startlingly clear figure for all that. On the right was Z. He said, ‘ Now I will give her the second, the higher initiation.’ And he seized my right arm with force. But I disengaged myself, and standing straight and calm I said (I can hear myself now), ‘Before this ceremony proceeds I wish to make a statement. I can allow nothing and no one to come between me and the Christ.’ There was a howl, a tossing of hands and every thing disappeared. “Soon after I tore up my initiation card, put Z. out of my mind and have had no conscious personal experience of him since. “But I had introduced him to a young French musician of high social standing, whom he found much to his taste. (We will call him F.) There is a close friendship between F. and me, and at that time he needed some Oriental music for one of his compositions - on the other hand, he might have been extremely useful to Z., towards whom he felt strongly attracted. After my own experience I began to be much alarmed, but felt that I was not big enough to deal with the situation, so I said nothing to F. but prayed that he might be protected from all evil. Shortly afterwards F. told me in his letters of various astral experiences. In his dreams he was going through all sorts of disagreeable things and voices kept saying to him, ‘Ask Z. to help you.